Monkey Maddness

2001-10-07T21:40:00.000-05:00

You know it's been a rough week when an attempt at a nice, relaxing bubble bath becomes comical. They should put a warning on those whirl pool things not to use any bubble bath with them, because if you do you may find yourself in the middle of a battle for survival with 4 foot high bubbles.

Look what I just found:
The Post-Crescent - Opinion. It's times like this I wish my job would give me at least a couple of days vacation time during my first year. I saw the pic on this and gasped. If only I was given the chance to be there. *sighs*

2001-10-04T22:48:00.000-05:00

Yahoo! Groups : GrlzLvNscrByz I don't know how I talk myself into these things. I should know by now any time I joke about putting together a list because I talk about it all the time I end up doing it. And, sure enough, I joked about putting together a Nascar list and here it tis be. I've been worried that something like this may flop, but I figured it was worth a shot. Hopefully I can find a good number of girls that are willing to chat about Nascar. :)

2001-09-30T13:14:00.000-05:00

A heart and spirits desire for peace and tranquillity and a minds realization that
war and destruction is the only logical way out of the situation we've been forced into equals an internal conflict and struggle unlike anything ever know.

2001-09-29T12:36:00.000-05:00

I should know by now not to cruise the Internet when I'm bored. Especially when it involves sites that require me to have money, such as the NASCAR.com Store. For some reason, Liberty, Dale Earnhardt Jr., and boredom added together equals major trouble. I've spent the whole morning thinking, "Ooooh I want! Ooooh I want!"...and that was just looking at the pictures. hehehe Kidding, kidding!

What I should be doing is finding some PSP tubes to jazz this thing up, but I haven't had much luck. I'm still looking for that perfect Monkey tube, and it just isn't happening. If I wasn't so picky, perhaps I would be able to get this thing jazzed up and I could work on making a different web site. One of these years, perhaps.

2001-09-26T21:53:00.000-05:00

I have gone through many emotions these past weeks, as have many others. On Tuesday it was shock and fear. The rest of the week was filled with incredible sadness and a desire to find out as much as possible about what we as a nation were facing and how such hatred came to be. This past weekend was filled with the desire to watch football and Nascar as I always do, but it also held an eerie feel that the other shoe was going to drop, so to speak. Over these last couple of days, I was still filled with the desire to understand what was going on around me. This morning I woke up and felt an incredible sense of anger.

I woke up to a story that one of the leaders of the Taliban has stated that bin Laden is not guilty of the acts of the 11th; rather US policy is. Now, I've been one of the first to say that our government perhaps hadn't handled things as well as they could have in the past, but something about this statement just felt like a slap in the face. I believe he also said that we shouldn't believe everything our government tells us, that we need to learn how to do our own thinking. He accuses Americans of believing everything the government tells us. Excuse me? It appears to me that someone has not done his homework. Just because we are now standing as one nation does not mean we stand with one mind. I find it ironic that we have been a nation that has been torn by its differences in the past, and now when we come together in support of our government we are accused of not thinking for ourselves. Am I putting my trust in our government at this time? Yes, I am. And, yes, it is because I put my faith in the fact that our government is doing all they can to find out who committed these acts of murder, and I trust that their investigation is going to lead us to the person that they honestly believe committed these acts. Why? Two reasons. One is because even though I am fully aware of the fact history has shown us that our government is often times filled with controversy and cover-ups, I cannot fathom why our government would lie to the nation about who they believe committed these crimes. The second reason is because our nation has never been faced with something like this, so I cannot criticize it for not handling things "right."

I am also angry because I realize our nation is damned if it does act and damned if it doesn't. From what I can tell, in order to overthrow the Taliban, and to do that we are going to have to gain some sort of control over Afghanistan. I realize that many people in Pakistan will not allow that to happen. One editorial suggested that we would have to take over Pakistan first. Which, of course, the other nations surrounding it would not allow. It seems as though we are caught up in a huge snowball headed for a steep cliff. Perhaps it is the pessimist in me, but I am angry because I am not seeing where this so-called justice is going to come from. I am not seeing a resolution to this, only more suffering and more fear.

To end this on a brighter note, I finally got a chance to look at a URL that was passed on to me. It put a bit of a smile on my face tonight, because it made me realize that we are not in this alone America's Tragedy

2001-09-25T21:59:00.000-05:00

One of the amazing things about the Internet is how close it seems to bring the world together. These past couple of weeks have not been an exception. As a matter of fact, the Internet allowed many Americans, as well as others through out the world, to share in their grief, anger, shock, and sympathy.

Even with that said, the amount of emotion that came out of this weekends NFL games and Winston Series Nascar race was overwhelming. Watching others grieve American's losses and celebrate being Americans really brought home the fact that we are all going through a lot of the same emotions. Those emotions seem to be bringing our nation together, despite it's flaws and it's differences. I only hope that our nation remains close throughout the years.

2001-09-22T17:28:00.000-05:00

I have to take my hat off to MTV for the way they've been covering the events that have taken place in the US over the last week or so. I have seen more shows asking for us as American's to realize that not all Arabs, Muslims, or any other ethnic/religious group that may be similar to those that are suspected to have committed these acts share in the same beliefs in them. It is refreshing to see, especially when it's aimed towards a younger audience.

I also have to tip my hat to the artists/actors/etc. that were involved in the telethon yesterday. It was amazing to see country artists, pop artists, rock artists, hip hop artists, and actors of all different backgrounds coming together in support of one cause. It gives me a sense of pride and hope to see that this tragedy has, more often than not, brought this nation together instead of tore it apart.

There has been talk that the Taliban has stated that they will not hand over Bin Ladan without proof of his involvement. From all accounts I have heard, we have refused to show them proof. To be honest, I am torn as to whether or not this refusal is a bad thing. On one head, I cannot say I blame them for wanting proof of his involvement. If the tables were turned, I would imagine we would also demand proof before turning over one of our own to another nation knowing that their fate would certainly be death if they were turned over. On the other hand, I am fully aware of the fact that this is an attempt at a stall tactic.

What does publicizing certain items or information that point towards Bin Laden's involvement in these attacks hurt? Certainly we are not required to do so if we view this as an act of war and not a criminal act, however, if we do not slow down on the plans we have put into motion then I argue that they would not hurt anything. In fact, I believe it would help our cause. Would it change the Taliban's minds? Probably not. However, it may strengthen the desire of other nations to aid in these missions. Doing so may also ease the minds of people in some nations who normally would not support the United States (for example, Pakistan). If that's the case, then publicizing some evidence of proof could be a huge help to the United States' cause.

2001-09-20T20:50:00.000-05:00

It occurred to me that someone reading this might get the impression that I am attempting to justify what happened at the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and in Pennsylvania, which could not be farther from the truth. I simply think it's important to have an understanding of other people's points of view and not to under mind other's beliefs. I also think that it is important to learn from moments such as the events of last week Tuesday in order to prevent it from happening again. Part of that learning, in my eyes, is to realize when we have not handled matters in the past in the way that they should have been handled.

Sources that I have seen and read have lead me to believe that it was a mistake for us to send missiles into Afghanistan, because it only added to some people's hatred towards the United States and other people's feeling of desperation. From what I can tell, some of those people turned to Bin Laden because he gave them a sense that they could overcome their desperation, and that they could even take on a power such as the United States. Do I think that these past events justify what they supposedly did in the United States? Absolutely not. What was done in the United States was cold, calculated, brutal murder. There is no justification for that.

I am simply suggesting that the United States is not Snow White. I also believe that if we are going to overcome this attack, it is very important to know not only what people were plotted and executed the events, but also why they did what they did. And, to understand why they did what they did we have to have a clear understanding as to their beliefs and how they came across their beliefs. And, finally, part of understanding how they came across their beliefs is recognizing when we made mistakes.

We can no longer afford to remain ignorant of other people's beliefs and ways of life. We can no longer afford to only have knowledge of our own history and not the history of other nations. A lesson we all must take from this is that problems will not go away if we pretend they are not there. They will only escalate until we no longer have the means to control them.

2001-09-19T19:45:00.000-05:00

In an attempt to learn as much as possible about what's going on around us I ran across this article: 60 Minutes II. It talks about how Bin Laden came into power and how American may have accidently helped. If nothing else, it definately shows that we need to be extremely careful with the actions we take against other countries.

2001-09-18T20:27:00.000-05:00

I've had such an internal struggle within me these last couple of days. I learned many lessons while I was living in Chicago and I desperately want to use them to try to make sense of last week's events. However, it's not easy to balance being sensitive to others beliefs and the horror of the devastation these fanatics caused because of their beliefs.

While we were in Chicago, we had a chance to talk to a Puerto Rican school who were desperately trying to get some of their people out of jail. They saw themselves as political prisoners of war. Our government called them terrorists. We saw our involvement in their country as helping. They saw our being in their country as interfering. Granted, some Puerto Ricans did not (and do not) mind us being in their country, but others saw us as invading their country. They want to be independent of the United States. And there is a group of people who are willing to defend their position. In this case, many of them were jailed after bombing our military structures in their country. Last year they had a major victory when some of their prisoners of war were released from prison. The lesson I learned was sometimes what we see as being right isn't always right, and what we see as being wrong is not always wrong.

Now I'm struggling to figure out how to apply what I have learned with the events that have taken place. In both cases in the "terrorists" mind they were responding to the United States aggression in their country. However, in the case of the Puerto Rican prisoners of war, they selected military targets in their country at times when they believed there would be no people inside. Yes, some people were killed in the process, which is tragic, but that was not the intent. In other words, they were attempting to make a political statement using agression. In the case of what happened in the United States, the statement was one of total distruction and death in the name of their religion.

Do I understand the reason why people in other countries may be upset with the United States due to our actions in their country? Yes. Often times the United States goes charging into other countries determined to change what we view as wrong without considering whether or not we're right. Can I even understand why some people may think they have to act aggressively towards the United States to make us realize that other points of view are not necessarily wrong? Yes, I can, although I personally am one that does not approve of violence. I also realize that sometimes the cold hard truth is you have to use it if you want your statement to be heard. Do I think that the action taken in the United States was justified. Absolutely not. There's a huge difference between taking action against United States military posts in their country and murdering thousands of people who had very little to do with the actions of our United States government and military. However, my strong belief that everyone has a right to their own religion and point of view prevents me from stating that they are wrong in their beliefs and we are right. I guess I just don't see things in such black and white terms.

From here we tread on an extremely thin line. Part of me wants to say that one lesson our government should take out of this that often times we should not get involved with issues that do not necessarily concern us in the rest of the world. However, I realize, as most of us do, that ignoring the world's problems is partly why the problem of terrorism has escalated as badly as it has. It appears as though these two issues should be balanced somehow. I continue to struggle to figure out exactly to balance them.

2001-09-16T19:35:00.000-05:00

It's been quite a while since the last time I posted in here. After finally gaining a full time position and still working off and on at the shelter, it's been very easy to lose track of things I used to do every day on the Internet. Once again I was drawn here after the events that took place on September 11th, 2001. A day I'm sure none of us are likely to forget.

I've been struggling over the last couple of days to make sense of the tragic events that took place that day. The criminologist in me wants to try to comprehend exactly what goes into the mind of someone like this as they plot and plan such an attack. There are no signs of mental health. No signs that all those involved did not have full control over themselves when they plotted and committed these acts. Just the deafening sound of hatred and, perhaps, desperation. As much as I try, I cannot understand how someone could be so filled with hatred that they could take the lives of hundreds, thousands, of people. I cannot understand how someone could feel such desperation that they could believe that the only way to have their life mean something is by killing thousands of people in a suicide mission. None of this makes sense to me. In part I am relieved knowing that I cannot understand this mindset, but I am frustrated by it as well.

My heart breaks for all of those involved as well. For the families and friends who have lost loved ones in New York, Washington DC, and Pittsburgh. I especially have sorrow for those families and friends who do not know what has become of their loved ones, and who may never know what truly became of them. I cannot imagine what that must feel like. My heart breaks for the family and friends of the rescue workers who lost their lives trying to protect and save the lives of others. My heart breaks with the knowledge that some people in the US are condemning innocent people for the actions of fanatics simply because of their race and religion. Times of crisis always seem to bring out the best in people, and the worst in people.

I think almost everyone's definition of a true hero has been forever changed by last Tuesday's events. So many times the word hero is used in place of the words icon or legend. In my eyes the true definition of the word hero lies in the rescue workers who ran towards the chaos and into the buildings when others were running away, and in the 3 men who defended themselves against the terrorists who held their plane hostage causing it to land in a Pennsylvania field rather than in another American building. I cannot imagine having the strength that those men did. I am not sure I would have the strength to fight knowing that in doing so I would probably die.

I have often wondered what it must have been like for the men that hijacked those planes fully knowing in their minds that they would die once that plane left the ground. It is my understanding that it was their belief that they would be rewarded for dying for a cause that they believed was noble -- destroying the evilness in the United States. So, perhaps those beliefs took away their fears and gave them strength.

Destroying the evil in the United States. Now, I will be the first to admit that we are far from perfect. Our government and its forces seem to be, more often than not, corrupt. Our society runs on economic power. We are divided by race, religion, and social differences. And, often times, we stick our nose into other country's business with the belief that our way of thinking is right and theirs is wrong. Apparently in their eyes God wants us destroyed for these reasons.

My time in Chicago taught me to be open-minded to other people's beliefs. However, I struggle to understand this mind set. My understanding of God in my religion, and as well as others, is a being who loves all of His people, including the sinners. A being who welcomes them all into His kingdom. As someone on TV said, God does not create these disasters, only those who stray away from God. So, does this give me confidence to say that I believe we're right and they're wrong? No, not really. It just brings me back to more confusion as to where the vision of God splintered.

It is my beliefs in my religion that causes me to ache for a way out of this confrontation other than military war. Economic sanctions, added security, and arrests should all be used, but that will only take us so far. Military action will not totally wipe out the terrorist mindset, however, it does seem to be the only action that will slow down terrorist acts as quickly as possible. My heart is hoping that this will not come down to war, but my head is telling me it is the only way. My only hope is that before this type of action is used officials make sure that our home front is as secure as possible to avoid other incidences such as what happened last Tuesday. I also hope, as do others, that the government respond rationally; fully looking at all of the evidence to punish only those involved with these terrorist acts instead of punishing innocent people as did these terrorists.

Now we are supposed to return to normal. To be honest, I no longer know how to define that word. Over the last couple of days, I have attempted to separate myself from the events that happened on Tuesday, but it is near impossible to do. No matter who you are with, the conversation always goes back to the events last Tuesday and the possibilities in the future. No matter what station you watch on TV or on the radio there is mention of the events. Even when you sit in silence by yourself, your mind drifts back to that day. Usually closer comes when there is a sense that those people who caused such an event are in custody. In this case, I am not sure if we will ever fully find out whether or not everyone is in custody who was involved in these attacks. Which only adds to the anxiety of wondering when, and how, the other shoe will drop. Even when there is the feeling that everyone who caused these acts are in custody, all of the home-fronts where such groups hiding out are no longer secure, and when military action comes to a close, I do not think closure will come. These events will forever be on America's mind every time they travel, every time they hear a story about New York, every time they see an American flag displayed up high or at half mass, every time they hear about a bombing or a bomb scare, every time they watch a movie that involves violence, and every time another country is involved in some sort of terrorist act. In some ways this thought is scary and in others it is reassuring.

Life in the United States will no longer be the same as it was before September 11th. We will have stricter security in airports, and possibly places such as stadiums. It will be inconvenient at times, but it will also be necessary to assure our safety. Even with that, I am sure that some people will hold their breaths and look around the plane before take off for months to come.

Those are the negative aspects. I believe there are positive aspects as well. It is my hope that these events will bring the United States together in a way that they have never have been before. I also hope that the United States now realizes that we are not separated from the world's problems. However, I also hope that the United States grows tolerant of ideals other than our own, and realize that differences "we" are not always right and "they" are not always wrong.

Thank you Jo for making this beautiful graphic

2001-04-13T22:07:00.000-05:00

I've come to a realization today. I've come to realize that the things that I have allowed to control my life; the way I view the world, and more importantly myself, are petty. Stupid even. The problem is, I've allowed them to control my life for so many years that I'm not sure how to change the way I look at things. The minute I came to this realization I found myself thinking and acting in the same ways I had done before. *sighs* I think I'm a lot stronger than I was a few years ago. In fact, I'm almost positive of it. But, I have a long way to go. I guess I just need to have faith that I'm going to get there. One of these days.

"There's a time to stand, and the time is now or never
Time to fly, a time to let go forever
Time to grow, and a time to discover
Life is precious, every second
You've wasted mine and it's my time"
-- Martina McBride

2001-04-02T21:10:00.000-05:00

So, here I am without Nitro and BORED TO DEATH....but I won't go down that avenue again, because I don't want to bore you all stiff.

It's official. I'm a racing jinx. When I watched once or twice a year, I put it off as a coincidence that the racers I cheered for would crash. Now that I'm watching Nascar weekly and watching my favorite drivers crash or somehow not finish the race in the planned way, I'm definitely beginning to believe that I'm a jinx. So....here's my apologies to Lil E and Michael Waltrip for being a horrible cheering section. *lol* Unfortunately, I've gotten myself hooked now....and convinced that one of these times you'll get 'em! :)

Speaking of DEI, I heard on the news a couple of days ago (don't remember exactly when, I'm afraid) that a bill was signed in Fl. preventing autopsy photos from being viewed by media personnel and what not without a judges permission. Gives me a little bit more faith in the system than I had before.

On a side note, in case there are any guys out there that come across this lil board. Beeping your horn, yelling out the window, whistling, or whatever, as you are driving by is NOT an affective way to gain the attention of a female walking down the sidewalk. It's annoying, period. Just felt compelled to share. ;)

2001-03-26T21:08:00.000-06:00

The other day I saw a bumper sticker that read, "Mean people kick ass." The first thing that ran through my head is, "Yeah, unfortunately it's usually mine." That ought to tell you how my last couple of days have been.

To make matters worse, I come back home and sit down to watch Nitro and am graced with the presence of Vince McMahon. Seems as though he's now decided to taint my nice little wrestling organization. I never knew I was still so passionate about WCW until he came along and destroyed it. Now I'm left feeling defeated myself. And extremely depressed. Wrestling has always been a major part of my life. Now I'm wondering if there's any place left for me in it.

2001-03-14T20:54:00.000-06:00

I've noticed a trend in my life these days. Either I have absolutely nothing going on, or EVERYTHING'S happening. The lack of posting should key you on to the fact that I'm in one of those EVERYTHING'S happpening states. Which is a good thing and a bad thing. The good part is I'm finally working full time (Yeh!). It's a temp. job but...who knows what the future may hold. The bad news is I feel like I'm spending every waking hour there. Not that I'm complaining. It's good to get out of the house for a change. It just puts things on the back burner for a while....such as late LATE night chats, web site updates, etc., etc. Hopefully after I get used to my new schedule I'll get myself in gear online again. *crosses fingers* At least I'm going to try to post here on the weekends. If I don't hold up that goal...send me an email and tell me to get my butt in gear. hehehehe

2001-03-02T21:49:00.000-06:00

I hate shoe shopping. Mind you, I LOVE shoes....they just always seem to hate me. I can find a lovely pair of shoes, slip them on my feet and ugh! If they fit one foot perfectly, they're falling off of the other one. And if they fit that foot perfectly they're squeezing the heck out of my other one. *sighs* I can never win!

I hate knives too. Unfortunately they love me. Well....at least our Band-Aids aren't going to waste.

2001-03-01T22:37:00.000-06:00

I just found out that a few newspapers (including our *lovely* local paper) have lawyers that are trying (essentially) to fight the Earnhardt lawyers for the right to view Dale's autopsy photos. From what I was told, our local paper has said that they don't intend on publishing the photos...rather, they intend on looking at them to see if they find anything unusual. Then, if there's anything unusual they will publish it.

Excuse me? Can someone explain to me what they could find that would be unusual? It's not like there's a question as to what killed him. He was in a racing accident that was televised on national television. What exactly are they trying to prove? Yes, I understand the freedom of the press, but I also understand invasion of privacy. The Earnhardt's have been through so much over the last couple of weeks. Why can't the national press treat him and the family with as much dignity as the racing press has?

2001-02-28T21:33:00.000-06:00

A few of us girls went out and saw The Wedding Planner last night, and I must say it was a lot better than I thought it was going to be. Parts of it were quite funny, and it was rather cute.

I started posting a fan fic I am still in the process of writing on the Mirrors of Reality board. Hopefully there are some people reading what I have thus far and like them. I'm always rather nervous about whether or not they're any good.

2001-02-27T13:25:00.000-06:00

Hey...look at this. I finally got a better look going on here. Well, hopefully any ways. It's not perfect, but I think it looks a lot better than it did before. Also, down at the bottom I know have an archieve. So, if you missed something and want to look back it's there for ya!

2001-02-25T20:51:00.000-06:00

As a general rule, I should not be allowed to read any of Rio's fan fics (Found on Mirrors of Reality) when starting off the night. I had something planned to post about tonight, but to be honest with you I don't have the slightest clue as to what it was any more. *LOL*

2001-02-23T23:40:00.000-06:00

I'm in one of those off moods tonight...as my Addicts list found out. *lol* I've been quiet on their lately, I guess. Not for any reason in particular. I just haven't had that much to talk about today. I suppose I didn't have much to talk about tonight either, but I was in a goofy mood, so I was going to start a pillow fight with someone...actually, I was going to start a pillow fight with Mike (Should I have said that out loud? Whoops! hehehehe), but then someone said something on the Addicts list that just sparked my sillyness. This is what happens when all of my usual muses are quiet, and I don't have anything better to do. *lol*

2001-02-22T21:57:00.000-06:00

Liberty, Kohl's Department Store, and a Kohl's credit card DO NOT get along. Actually...that's not true...I get along with those things TOO well. Right now I'm happy with my new outfits and jewelry, but I have a feeling I'm going to regret it when I get my credit card bill. heeheehee

2001-02-21T22:52:00.000-06:00

Once again I'm off of a couple of busy days. I did get one of my updates finished. Thanks to Sharon's wallpapers the Savage Addicts site has been updated: check it out!

A couple of us went out to watch the Grinch again. It was kind of weird watching it in the middle of February, but one of our friends hadn't seen it, so we figured what the hell. Only cost two bucks at the budget any ways. Then we exposed this same fan to the Pretender 2000 movie. Let's see...this is the 6th time I've seen it now. That movie has had such a influence on me it's pathetic. First it gets me obsessed with the Pretender show itself, and then it has me searching for more shows/movies with Peter Outerbridge. I'm hoping he's in the new Pretender movie (whenever it comes out), and he gets an official site.

Well, the Grammy controversy is now over...Eminem and Elton performed "Stan" together. Personally speaking I thought they did a good job, but I may be a tad biased because that's my favorite song of Eminem's.

I have some personal opinions about this issues people have been discussing about Eminem, but I'm not in the mood to discuss them in a public forum right now. Maybe later I'll change my mind.

2001-02-19T23:41:00.000-06:00

Today was one of those lazy days, so I don't have too much to post about. I'm trying to get myself set up for a couple of site updates that *hopefully* will come tomorrow. Only time will tell.

For those of you who would like to send condolences to the Earnhardt family, here is a message board where you can post them. I've been told that the messages are going to Nascar, and then will be sent to the family.

2001-02-19T00:35:00.000-06:00

My deepest sympathy goes out to the entire Earnhardt family, and the fans of NASCAR as they grieve the death of Dale Sr. RIP

2001-02-15T20:34:00.000-06:00

Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to my daaaaaddddy.
Happy birthday to you. :)

2001-02-14T20:13:00.000-06:00

So, it's Valentine's Day. Bah humbug! *lol* Pardon me, I'm a bit of a Grinch when it comes to this holiday. Mainly because I rarely have anyone to celebrate it with. But, Valentine's Day does celebrate love, and I do have a lot of love for my family and friends. That I am very thankful for.

I guess my Valentine's celebration was when a group of us girls went to see Hannibal. How romantic, eh? All was not lost. The movie was great, and we managed to scare the crap out of ourselves. Anyone know how to get a good nights sleep after watching that movie???

2001-02-13T12:28:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we bought a box of Chex at the grocery store. Along with the cereal, we got a free copy of the Who Wants to be a Millionaire CD ROM. And, quite frankly, Regis is beginning to get on my nerves.

2001-02-12T20:30:00.000-06:00

There seems to be a trend with my weeks lately. The week days are rather unexciting and boring, and my weekends seem to be nuts. On Saturday I worked from 10am till 10pm. The day wasn't all that bad, except for a few calls from some grouchy people. I hate grouchy people. I don't mind people being upset and grouchy when they're in crisis. That's to be expected. I know how to deal with that. What I don't know how to deal with is the people who are grouchy just for the sake of being grouchy. Being a telemarketer in the past, I've learned to keep a smiley disposition and stick your tongue out at the phone after you hang it up. It always helps to have a sense of humor.

Sunday I spent almost the entire day with my father at a musky expo. My dad got me into fishing. It's very comforting, and gives you a chance to spend some quality time with someone while in the middle of no where. I wasn't sure if the expo would be fun, but it turned out to be pretty good. The building where it was located held a lot of memories for me. I met a few Green Bay Packers in that building. And, it was located across the street from where myself, Cindy, Lori, Mimi, and the rest of the gang met to see Savage Garden.

Ah..the memories!

2001-02-08T14:26:00.000-06:00

There is only one word to sum up this day....PANIC!!! Ugh...I'm going to have a serious ulcer by the time the day's done. I got a nice little letter from my loan company informing me that they didn't get my January payment. Since I'm absolutely positively positive I sent them that payment I called up to find out what the heck happened. Alas...they are positive they never got it. I ended up calling the bank, and they informed me it's never been cashed. *rubs forehead* So, I had to pay $15 to stop payment on the check, and now I have to figure out how to make it through this month making not one, but two loan
payments. My stomach hurts now.

2001-02-07T20:42:00.000-06:00

I worked another 3rd shift this morning. I can't complain. The night went by rather smoothly. However, I am definately feeling the effects of only being able to sleep from 9am to 1pm, or there abouts. It's looking as though this is going to be another evening where I head off to bed early to try and get myself back on a normal schedule. Well...as normal as my sleeping schedule gets any ways.

2001-02-06T13:57:00.000-06:00

Nothing kills boredom like a shopping trip. Fortunately, yesterday my mom was off so I was able to do just that. Now, the new blog theme may be how long it takes us to kill the plant that we bought. *lol* As for today, now I'm back to reworking and rewriting my cover letters and resume in attempts to catch myself a job. One of these years I'm going to get there.

How old do I have to be in order to retire these days?

2001-02-04T20:25:00.000-06:00

Well, here I am once again recovering from another crazy weekend. But, this time the craziness didn't come from work....instead it came from a vacation. I decided to go on over to my folks cabin with them this weekend, which was a blast even though we were without heat for a couple of hours.

We had to take the truck, so all 3 of us were smashed in the front like sardines in a can. It made things interesting...although, I must say that it made my dad want to get there a lot faster than usual. I guess my mom and I got kind of goofy, which made for long conversations. heeheehee

One of these days I'll have to try and remember to grab some pics of the area and post them up here. It really is quite beautiful. Although, I must say, it gets a bit disappointing going up there every time and seeing more and more trees getting cut down and replaced with houses.

Since I got back, I haven't been able to get my mind off of anything but the desire to sleep. I'm going to see how long I can fight it, but I have a feeling my head is going to be hitting a pillow soon. *lol*

2001-02-01T20:52:00.000-06:00

Even though I didn't give any details or signs of hope about the temp job it looks like I've jinxed myself any ways. A couple of hours after setting up this appointment, the temp agency called back to say that the company filled the position they were going to put me in, so they don't need me any more. Even though I know this has nothing to do with me, this has happened so many times since I graduated that I'm beginning to take it personally. *sighs*

2001-02-01T14:58:00.000-06:00

This afternoon I got in contact with a man working for a temp agency I became associated with back in May. Since I became associated with them, I haven't gotten to work a position for them, but now it looks like the potential might be there. I'm going back to see them tomorrow, so we can catch up on what I've been doing since last we talked, and to discuss a job option they might have for me. At this point in the game, I don't want to say too much about it because I don't want to jinx myself. So, we'll just have to take things in stride.

2001-01-30T20:18:00.000-06:00

Today I was supposed to start a new temp job, but unfortunately they backed out on me. That's OK, I suppose...if I was working the job chances are you'd be reading my bitching about how boring the job is. Instead you'll have to live with my bitching about how broke I am. Such as life.

My friends and family have such a bad influence on me. I really don't watch too many TV series. Really the only shows I watch are wrestling related, music videos, or whatever else I can put in the background while I'm working. Unfortunately now the peoplez around me have gotten me into The Pretender. It's a show that has me totally intrigued, yet extremely frustrated because every time you think you have everything figured out they throw in another curve ball. I never watched until I watched the newest TNT movie, and now I'm trying to catch up on the programs I missed. Now I gotta sit back and wait for the next movie.

Have I mentioned in the past that I'm not a patient person?

2001-01-29T20:02:00.000-06:00

I learned something new today. I learned that when my mom is home from work and bored she'll change my hair color in a heartbeat.

Libby before:

Libby after:

Graphics made by: Troopers

The colors aren't EXACTLY the same, but basically she changed my hair from it's normal blah brown color to a color called bold burgandy. hehehehe

2001-01-28T21:52:00.000-06:00

Tips to having a good Super Bowl party (even when the game is boring as heck):

1) Create a pool with different gifts for the winners (football stuff, lottery tickets, other odds and ends). Make the winners come from the scores for each quarter, number of turnovers, number of the player who gets the first score for each team, etc., etc.). That way, even if its a slow game you have something to look forward to.

2) Good commercials are essential for a good time (the Pepsi and Budwiser commercials get my vote for this year).

3) Enough alcohol to get everyone pleasantly giggly.

2001-01-28T00:09:00.000-06:00

This afternoon while shopping for things for our upcoming Superbowl party, my dad looked at me and called me a chestnut. I don't exactly recall what we were talking about, but I know it was one of our silly round-about conversations. I frowned at my dad and asked him why he just called me a chestnut. He responded by singing, "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't."

I think that about sums up my life in a nutshell. I know, I know, that was bad Libby,very, very bad!

2001-01-26T20:33:00.000-06:00

"Didn't you get a good enough spanking earlier?"

One of the problems with working with victims of violence is you hear sentences that make your skin crawl. It doesn't matter where you are. Watching TV. Eating at a restaurant. Shopping.

When I'm away from work, or volunteering where I work, I try desperately to not pay close attention to what other people are saying, but I've become so sensitive to the behaviors of the people that surround me. Listening to these cues is something I need to do when I'm at work, but it's maddening when I'm spending the day trying to relax.

2001-01-25T22:19:00.000-06:00

I've come to the conclusion that I was not meant to do housework. Of course, this is something that I've always suspected, but it never rang more true than today. After putting a load in the wash and another in the dishwasher, I went to the bank.

When I came back from the bank...surprise...there was a nice water puddle coming from an area suspiciously close to the wash dryer. After calling my father and finding as many towels I came to the realization that my little puddle was more like a flood. *lol* Luckily I was able to save our washroom, bathroom, and hallway from their impending doom.

2001-01-25T12:44:00.000-06:00

I'm trying desperately to put off things that I know need to be done around the house. Laundry needs to be done, my room looks like a tornado went through it, I have to run to the bank, pay bills, yada...yada...yada.

A couple of years ago one of my friends and I joked that we would grow up to be two senile cat ladies who lived next door to each other. We'd be totally man-less, and just basically pathetic. Last time we talked, we decided that so far we're right on course.

2001-01-24T10:37:00.000-06:00

Once again another case has gone to court where the defendant is a child who claims to have been mimicking pro wrestling moves and killed another child. I'm lucky I stand firmly behind my beliefs regarding watching aggression on television and aggressive behavior. But, anyone has to look at the number of cases that have come about lately and shake their head....or bang it on their desk.

On another note. Does innocent until proven guilty mean anything anymore? Surely not in the media...especially if you're a football hero, superstar...whatever. Don't mind me too much....I'm just frustrated because over the past couple of months I've had to listen to people talk about
former Green Bay Packer Mark Chumra's alleged sexual encounter with a 17 year old. I tend to get frustrated when people talk about how they can't believe he'd do something like that because he seemed like such a great guy, etc., etc., etc. Yes, I realize the situation surrounding the alleged assault LOOKS bad, but last time I checked looking bad didn't mean guilty. Especially considering the fact that they haven't even finished picking a jury yet. I guess I'm just the type of person who likes to save my judgments until after I've heard the facts
(from a source other than a local newspaper).

On a lighter note, I've decided to give you guys some URLs to online radio stations I've been creating. I don't know if anyone's going to be interested in listening to them, but I figured what the hell. Maybe someone will find them interesting.

Listen To My Station

Listen to my LAUNCHcast station!

2001-01-23T10:33:00.000-06:00

Such a big deal was made a while back about whether or not John Ashcroft would get the position promised to him by President Elect Bush. While I was watching other stuff, I got updates about the process of finding out whether or not he'd get the position, but to be quite honest with you I never did find out whether or not he did. I never did have the political mind.

However, I know there was a similar process for a man by the name of Tommy Thompson (named as secretary of health and human services). Not as big of a deal was made out of him, so again I don't know if he's gained the position (but I have a feeling he has). If that's the case....run.....FAST! OK. I'll be honest. I have mixed emotions....Wisconsin has been stuck with Thompson for....well....forever. So, on one hand I am THRILLED that we're finally getting rid of the man, but on the other hand, now the rest of the states are stuck with him. To make matters worse, my mother had to point out that with him being in charge of health and human services, he's in charge of my job (being a counselor).

I'm thrilled....can't you tell?

If he has gained this position, I pray that means he's as far away from the education system as possible. I'll admit...I'm disgruntle because as a middle schooler in Wisconsin I suffered from the cut backs in education, and I blame Thompson for them. It got so bad that some of the students in my middle school rioted because teachers were cut based on seniority. I never did understand that, seeing as some of the best teachers were the ones who were getting cut. Lucky for us, a lot of them got reinstated.

I remember a joke going around school about how the cuts were so bad that they were going to take away art supplies from art class, musical instruments from music class, etc. I got it from my mother --who at the time was a teachers aid at the grade school I used to attend. Since I was submerged in education, and Thompson had the reputation of not being sympathetic to the system, my mom and I had loads of conversations about how unfair he was. And, we tried desperately to vote him out of office. Obviously, up to this point we've lost the fight.

I just hope Thompson doesn't screw the US as badly as he's screwed Wisconsin.

2001-01-22T09:41:00.000-06:00

It's been a few days since I last posted on here, which I was afraid would happen. It wasn't because of a lack of desire to post, but rather lack of time. I mentioned earlier that I don't have a full time job, which is true. I do, however, hold a substitute position. This weekend I decided to fill in for someone who works 3rd shift all weekend. Friday I ended up working from midnight till 11:30 -- I was supposed to get out at ten, but a crisis kept me there longer. Saturday I worked from ten to ten, and yesterday (or this morning, depending on the prespective) I worked from ten till eight. I got home about an hour ago, which means that I came home and directly decided it would be a good idea to check my email. Stupid idea probably, I'm so tired right now I can bearly keep my eyes open. But, I'm afraid if I fall asleep, I'm never going to get back on a "normal" schedule.

I can't complain too much. Other than one incident the weekend went by rather smoothly. Plus, I finally get some money in my pocket (well, momentarily any ways...bills, bills, bills.) Although, I must confess that I have the type of job in which I feel guilty about getting paid for. Helping people. Sometimes I feel like I get so much from the people I work with that I don't desearve to get paid. Then my student loans started to come....I guess I need to pay them back somehow. Right now I'm just thankful I have a job (even if just a substitute job) where I can actually use my education instead of waste it.

Well, before I ramble on too much I suppose I should get back to my emails...all three hundred of them. Then, perhaps, I'll consider the possibility of actually getting some sleep.

2001-01-18T14:14:00.000-06:00

From the the first moment I started this blogger, I felt that I would need to say something very profound every time I posted. However, I'm having one of those days where there really isn't that much to talk about. This is the major downside of being the only one in the house who doesn't either have a full time job, or going to school.

I suppose I wouldn't have this problem if I wasn't as picky as I'm being. After going to college for four years, the idea of settling for any old job doesn't appeal to me. I'm finally at a point in my life where I have a general idea of what I want to do, and I even have an idea of where I would like to work. Now it's just a matter of waiting. I am not a patient person. I'm also a worrier. That combination can be maddening. So, here I sit once again staring at my computer and listening to the television. Welcome to my exciting life.

I'm even getting to the point where going to school again is starting to sound appealing. Lord....I can't start thinking about this, or else I'll start seriously considering what an attorney at Northwestern University and my Legal Studies advisor once uttered to me....*whispers*....law school.

2001-01-17T20:37:00.000-06:00

I ended up spending the good portion of the day looking for some monkey PSP tubes so I could create a header (and lose the clunky thing), but unfortionately I wasn't successful. If anyone's reading this and knows where I can find one please email me (my address is listed with my name and time of posting below.) Thanks!

Time for my rant of the day. These days I've been spending a lot of time at home searching for a full time job, and basically procrastinating (something I've grown quite good at doing). I could start off on a tangent about what a bitch it is to find a job, and how fusterated I am, but I'm going to leave that for another day. I digress.

I usually have videos or some court case on in the background while I'm working on my computer, or whatever. Yes, a court case. It's my legal studies minor coming out. Some people find court cases boring, but for some reason I find them intreging. Again, I digress. These days I've been watching the Rae Carruth Murder Trial. To my surprize a couple of days ago my brother was watching it too. Perhaps I'm not the only odd ball. At any rate, I could get onto a tangent about whether or not I think he's guilty, but I have two other things on my mind.

Throughout the trial the announcers would mention the fact that he's a professional athlete, and how professional athletes may be prone to violent behavior if they're in a violent sport. While I understand that there are temptations that they may come across that "normal people" don't, it bothers me that someone can say that someone else may be prone to commit a violent crime simply because they play football, they wrestle, they box, whatever. Perhaps I'm reading too much into their statements, but whenever they said that it irritated me. Why is it that someone can say that an athlete is prone to commit a violent crime because of their temptations and that's fine, but when someone suggests that police officers may be prone to commit crimes because of the temptations they have that's seen as being a horrible statement? Just one of those things that's been on my mind lately that I had to get out.

The other thing that's been bugging me is the fact that they're comparing the case to OJ's because Rae was able to pay for a good lawyer. Is this really a crime? I swear if he is found not guilty of this crime and people bitch that it only happened because he had money I'm going to scream. I agree that the system isn't fair, but people are pointing in the wrong direction. Instead of chastising the people who can afford a good lawyer, why don't people focus on getting better representation for the poor? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that public defenders are bad. I'm arguing that with the huge case load that most of them get, and the lack of funds, it's no wonder that some people get lost in the cracks.

2001-01-17T11:55:00.000-06:00

Well, I've attempted to make this a little easier to look at by fixing with the colors a bit and adding a whole load of links (which include my own personal web sites, web sites I frequent, and another link to Jo's blog -- perhaps I'll get around to visiting more, so I can post some more for you to read.) to keep you all busy if you so desire. Hopefully in the process of messing with tables I haven't screwed something up in the process. I seem to be pretty good at that.

Of course, at this point I'm not even sure if anyone's reading this, but at least it keeps me busy. *lol*

2001-01-16T23:50:00.000-06:00

So, here I am with my own avenue to talk about anything I want, and to be completely honest with you I don't have the foggiest idea what I'm going to do with it. But, I do know that this is going to be a place where I speak my mind about what's going on in my life. Hopefully I won't bore you all to tears along the way. :)

I think I'm treading on dangerous ground here. In the process of setting this up my web site became a royal pain in the ass, and I then realized I didn't have the foggiest idea how I wanted this thing to look (hence the very plain looking blog). Perhaps, when I feel more adventureous, I'll turn this into something more appealing to the eyes. For now, it is what it is. If you want to see what a blog is SUPPOSED to look like, go to Jo's blog. She kick ass at the graphic stuff! :)